6th Sunday of Easter, May 25, 2014
Fr. Joseph Eddy, O. de M.
It is May. The flowers are finally out. The weather is finally clearing up. And for many, the wedding season is in full swing. We pray that God will bless each of those couples as they prepare for their life-time commitment to each other. These young couples are in need of special prayers because, as we all know, the once strong, stable institution of marriage is now very sick and some would even say dying.
Despite the fact that marriage is the most ancient institution of humanity, it is a fact that a large percentage of marriages in the Western world end in divorce. The causes of the increased divorce rate are complex and vary from case to case. Yet, one prominate Catholic psychiatrist has stated that the vast majority of struggling marriages he encountered are afflicted by the disease of control. For him, the struggle for control was the number one obstacle to marital success. One or both of the spouses cannot give up their control. So, seemingly small arguments become “strategic maneuvers” to protect one’s self and their control over the situation or the marriage.
Is it only a fairytale?
Of course, when we listen to this we realize the foolishness of such behavior. These couples are wasting their energy and time fighting for security and/or freedom. These control mechanisms undermine the whole basis of the vows and the marriage itself. Today’s couples are facing a cultural situation unlike any other in recorded history. Many do not have tangible examples of life-long commitments in their lives. To many, marriage forever may seem like a fairytale; unattainable. How can we trust the other to be faithful? How can we trust ourselves? Where there is no trust fear takes over. We instead rely on self-serving protection from the inevitable hurts that we have seen and experienced throughout our lives.
We really need to return to God, our creator and redeemer, to find the way out of this self-destructive fear which is destroying the very foundation of our society. We must return to the beginning (Genesis) where we are told that human beings are created in the Image of God. This God is a communion of persons; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In this relationship, which we are called to share in, we find a perfect example of self-sacrifice which promotes trust and true freedom.
There is no force in love
Looking at our Lord’s words, “The world will no longer see me…” it is clear that Jesus is telling His disciples of His forthcoming Death, Resurrection, and Ascension. In some sense, He is leaving them; entrusting this uneducated band of fishermen to the Holy Spirit who will “guide them into all truth”. There is here an example of trust and detachment which we don’t see in often in ourselves. Jesus does His part entrusting the disciples and the Church to the Holy Spirit. He knows that the Holy Spirit is more than capable of the task. Yet, these fickle human beings must chose freely to follow the advice and support of the Paraclete. There is no force in Love. God invites and even persuades, but does not force.
Oh the divine detachment of God! Jesus could control the whole situation and stay with His weak disciples. He could have ensured that there were no bumps in the road. But that would not enable us to freely chose and engage our whole person in the journey to holiness. There would be no true relationship, no give and take between persons.
We cannot control our lives, other persons, or our marriage. But, we can choose to believe in the loving God who sends the Spirit to guide each one to holiness. This takes prayer and acts of detachment from our desire to control. Fear leads us to be a war with ourselves and others. Perfect love casts out all fear. It teaches us to trust the Father and live in freedom. We are able to make commitments and keep them, because our trust is not placed in frail human nature but in the all-powerful God. There is no need to madly attempt to control everything in our lives. The Holy Spirit, who called us to make commitments, is here to enable us to fulfill them. God makes all things new again!